Book Looks: The Way I Used to Be – Amber Smith


Sandals | Dress | Earrings | iPhone Case | Bag

Title: The Way I Used to Be (2016)
Author: Amber Smith
Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary

Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes.

What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.

Read the first lines…

I don’t know a lot of things of things. I don’t know why I didn’t hear the door click shut. Why I didn’t lock the damn door to begin with. Or why it didn’t register that something was wrong—so mercilessly wrong—when I felt the mattress shift under his weight. Why I didn’t scream when I opened my eyes and saw him crawling between my sheets. Or why I didn’t try to fight him when I still stood a chance.

I don’t know how long I lay there afterward, telling myself: Squeeze your eyelids shut, try, just try to forget. Try to ignore all the things that didn’t feel right, all the things that felt like they would never feel right again. Ignore the taste in your mouth, the sticky dampness of the sheets, the fire radiating through your thighs, the nauseating pain—this bulletlike thing that ripped through you and got lodged in your gut somehow. No, can’t cry. Because there’s nothing to cry about. Because it was just a dream, a bad dream—a nightmare. Not real. Not real. Not real. That’s what I keep thinking: NotRealNotRealNotReal. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Like a mantra. Like a prayer.

21 thoughts on “Book Looks: The Way I Used to Be – Amber Smith

    • Thanks! Honestly I probably wouldn’t wear it either, but the colours were too much of a match to pass. 😛

      I’ve actually read the book and would maybe give it 3 stars? There are some quite major storytelling flaws, but some scenes are REALLY good. Do you think you’re going to read it?

      Liked by 1 person

  1. God that is such a gorgeous dress! And I love how well it matches the book cover as well, it was like the two were made for each other 😀
    I haven’t heard of this book before but it sounds interesting, I may have to check it out some time.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s